The last day of the trip, tomorrow morning we leave the hotel at 6am for the long journey home.
Today we had one last visit to a Bangkok market….the biggest market in Thailand. It also involved one last descent into the goblin ruled underbelly of the city. Even busier than the day before you immediately lost yourself in the mass movement of people. You became part of the giant shoal, murmurating yourself through the train tunnels below the city.
On the way there we marvelled at the layers of people, deep below us was the underground, just below us the underpass, our level the cars and pedestrians, above us another pedestrian walkway and above that the sky train. All levels bursting with bodies. All bodies continually moving except for those encased in cars frozen in traffic.
The market was huge, ungraspably so. We skirted the edge finding our feet before squeezing into the thronging maze where we immediately lost ourselves. You have to dive in here and try to forget about remembering your location to avoid getting dizzy with disorientation. It felt like closing your eyes and being spun around then trying to find your way out of an eternal labyrinth.
Like you are in an AI generated computer game that doesn’t end. Endless stalls selling anything you want and everything you don’t want. Hours passed and we barely scratched the surface. We hydrated with delicious fresh iced coconut smoothies. We had filled our knapsacks with what we needed and slid back down the escalators into goblin town.
It was really amazing to see how bodies moved on the crammed train and escalators, in perfect harmony sensing where each other were headed, what they needed and working together even though they did not communicate. Everything flowed whereas back home people seem so unaware of what is going on around them.
Being so close to people enabled you to get a close look at what they were doing and this was the same as at home. Looking at their phones and immersed in watching random nonsense on social media but doing this in a way where they can still dance along enmasse or sometimes even ride a motorbike through heavy city traffic and not crashing.
Time for one last massage and it was the best yet for me. I opted for foot and Em and Joy had Thai. My lady went in hard and managed to walk that tightrope between serious pain and pleasure. Sometimes straying too far into the pain lane leading me to wince, this, I learnt had to be avoided because far from easing up when I emitted a wince she took this as a sign to up the pressure. Several times I struggled so hard not to wince I ended up laughing (at the ridiculousness of the situation) she also interpreted this as a que to go harder.
In the evening we all went out for a family dinner We grabbed a table early in an attempt to avoid the mayhem of Saturday night in Bangkok. We had a lovely meal and a good chat. Now that we had finally met and got to know each other I took the opportunity to formerly ask Ems Dad for his approval of our marriage (as dictated by tradition). He gave me the green light and we raised a glass. As the volume of the music crept up we hugged and bid each other farewell as this chapter of our adventure drew to a close. Tomorrow we were flying home.
We woke at 5:20 (just before our 5:30 alarm), taxi was picking us up at 6 am to take us to the airport. Final dance with the Botanic bathroom facilities and jamming things into my rucksack making sure I put the power banks in the right bag to avoid the airport drama of the last flight where I had them in wrong bag and had to empty and find them in front of the large snaking waiting que behind me.
Em had settled up the bill and we jumped into the taxi and headed to the airport, not long and Em requested a coffee stop and bought herself and the driver a drink, which the driver had to pay for as they couldn’t give change for Ems $20 (we added this to his tip) we crawled through the city as the locals bustled around and the westerners (still standing, just about, from the night before) stood in the road like slow motion zombie sheep, showing severely delayed reactions to the honking horn of our vehicle.
The driver told us about his life and family and how he became good at English (taught by monks and then practiced with tourists everyday for 20 years and working his way up from a toilet cleaner to owning a taxi, and surviving several family dramas and the COVID crisis). He explained that as a child of 11 who moved to live with his uncle because food was scarce and mealtimes were therefore shall we say…..very feisty. It was really interesting hearing a genuine life story from a local.
We arrived at the airport which had that newly built shine and feel…..and emptiness, this is what I imagined a private airport would feel like. We checked in and was about walk through to departures when I was abruptly accosted and escorted to security. Some problem with my bag and I could feel my face flushing. Staff who had the abruptness of having their breakfast disturbed but we’re still trying to be polite then told me I had power banks in my bag at which point I realised in my head I had the bag power bank situation the wrong way round. Thereby followed some hasty and panicked bag unpacking and apologizing for my error. I was just grateful there wasn’t a large audience of witnesses scowling behind me at the time.
We wandered around the airport and I bought a bag of crisps and walked straight into currency confusion (using local reil (4000 to 1) and dollars). I’d been pretty good at working this out so far, possibly better than Emma but I’d saved all my confusion for my last transaction where I thought that the kiosk operator had given me too much change (he hadn’t) so was trying to give him money back much to his confusion. Anyway, no drama other than the guy ending up with a handsome tip for just serving me an overpriced packet of seaweed flavored lays crisps.
The flight was quicker than scheduled due to a tailwind, so only 45 minutes. During which time the staff served everyone a meal (vegan tofu rice and veg for us with a dessert), served everyone a drink of coffee/tea and cleared up. Arrival at Bangkok was also straightforward and we were soon in a taxi, back in the crazy Bangkok traffic commuting the 43 km trip back into the city centre. Our taxi driver pulled out some local smooth moves down backstreets to get us to our hotel shaving off over 60 minutes from googles predicted journey time. Great to see the algorithm defeated by an everyday human!
We checked into the hotel and would be meeting Ems Dad and Joy in a couple of hours but were feeling peckish so headed out onto the streets.
A few hundred yards away was a full vegan cafe so we enjoyed a couple of smoothies (peanut butter and jelly for me, salted caramel frappelappacino for Em) and I tried a burger which went straight into number one on my all time favourite burger (eating out) chart and Em had a cake. We then met up and caught up on the last few days before having a cooling dip in the rooftop pool and agreeing to meet in reception at 6pm to head to the famous night market.
When we arrived outside it was dark and Friday night in Bangkok was starting to kick off. People everywhere and traffic was flowing but was thick with cars and bikes. we walked to the subway shoulder to shoulder with a billion other people. Feeling relatively safe considering the craziness.
The streets were lined with stalls selling everything. We eventually arrived at the escalators and descended down into the belly of the Bangkok. I was feeling like Bilbo Baggins in the Hobbit being carried down into the goblin city and just followed the others thinking if I lost them I would end up living down there like gollum, for ever.
Considering the sheer number of people everything moved really quickly and efficiently (until my card didn’t work at a turnstile! Stressful but I was on such a sensory overload I didn’t freak out) with trains arriving smoothly every few minutes and doors sliding open to fully packed carriages that have you thinking ‘i can’t fit in there’ but you just walk in and you do fit, just about, but you are never sure if the door is going to bruise your backside as it closes.
The market was good fun, Em enjoyed the clothes stalls and I enjoyed looking at the crazy food stalls, Thai’s love their food and the speciality here seemed to be a volcano sized sharing platter of bones and broth. It was everywhere along with all sorts of other ‘food’.
We aquired some fresh spring rolls and a plate of deep fried mixed tofu and ate it as we wandered around absorbing the sights, sounds and smells of the city.
At one point I watched a large rat dance around the ankles of oblivious diners sat in a crowded area sucking on bones and shellfish and slurping broth. I’m sure it was bouncing off peoples feet but nobody made the slightest flinch.
We headed back to a bar near the hotel for a nightcap. A Christmas tree and large life sized statute of father Xmas were at the bar which just seemed strange despite it being 14th December (I would usually be feeling quite Christmassy by now but it just doesn’t feel right in the heat).
I was absolutely exhausted even the cover band singing words they didn’t understand was failing to keep me awake so we headed back to our room for lights out.
Whenever I set an early alarm I always find it interesting to see if I wake before it goes off. This mornings alarm was set for 04:10 and I woke from a good sleep at 04:08. My internal alarm clock performing pretty accurately. We rolled out of bed and used the bathroom. The Bum gun at the Botanic was the most powerful yet! I think maybe too powerful, more like a missile launcher than a gun.
The night porter was on instruction to have a coffee ready for Em at 04:20 which he did. We had a 7 hour tour of Ankhor Wat temples booked and our guide picked us up by Tuk Tuk at 04:30. A friend from the yoga/ meditation retreat was going to join us as she was also in Siem Reap.
As we drove through the city the baselines and neon lights were still in full swing with a sprinkling of western faces littered among the open fronted bars still working hard on their hydration. Others were swaying by the little food carts gnawing on things that had been grilled over simple charcoal barbecues. It seemed like an alien world to us, we had long forgotten nights like that. We arrived at the main temple in total darkness with lots and lots of other people.
We were led by torchlight forming huge human chains like ants foraging for food. Mosquitoes were also out foraging for food and making the most of my bare legs. Our guide found us a good position and we sat to wait for the dramatic and renowned sunrise over Ankhor Wat, the first time any of us had visited a world heritage site.
As we waited more and more tourists arrived and I felt uncomfortable to be one of them. A gecko jumped on our friends lap before launching into a crowd of Americans and causing havoc! We sat and waited for an hour for the first rays of sunshine, that never came. What greeted us was a typical Welsh sunrise. As black grew into grey and nature lifted the middle finger to hundreds of photo hungry tourists. Some clown was flying a drone around spoiling any photos the eager crowd could hope for. We moved to a different angle and stumbled upon a giant centipede that raised my excitement levels and I lay on the floor for 10 minutes watching it whilst everyone took selfies of the temple.
Our guide started the historical information aural download and although I was really interested I was transported back to a childhood school trip to a museum where we were receiving a prolonged talk about some ancient pottery and my mind was fully in the natural history room next door full of crystals and stuffed animals and imitation volcanoes. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
Angkor Wat has many temples spread out over a sizeable area and the main one had 3 levels. Level 1. Hell, Level 2. Earth, Level 3. Heaven. Hell being the biggest, the hallway was choked with stick bearing OAP’s and the human congestion was difficult to deal with.
Hearing about the looting and destruction of the temples put a different spin on one of my favourite childhood movies, Indiana Jones. To think that this place was constructed so long ago was crazy, it was so intricate and every surface was ornamentally carved. Level 2 also had an ancient swimming pool built out of the solid sandstone blocks.
Next up we grabbed our MTB bikes and got our first taste of cycling in Cambodian traffic. The trick was to think like a fish, move in your shoal, do not stop, go with the flow. These were quiet roads in comparison to city centre but still had plenty of action.
We made our way around the ancient city and as the temples we visited got more and more remote there were less and less tourists. This made me realise it was the crowds that were bugging me earlier, now things were quieter I began to engage more and get a feel for the places, especially the ones that were still in the process of being reclaimed by nature, there were some beautiful trees entwined among the stonework.
One of the temples was used for shooting the tomb raider films and definitely had that vibe about it. We had a few stops at local businesses on the way around for fruit, cocunut juice and lunch (pineaple fried rice for me and noodles for em). The roads turned into dust tracks that got narrower and narrower as the day progressed as we cycled through the Cambodian jungle and those childhood Indiana Jones memories came flooding back.
I was glad the guide was at the front taking all the spider webs to his face and clearing a path for us. At one point he went through a considerably large list of venomous snakes assuring us (not very effectively) that we would be too noisy for any of them to hang around.
We saw a few lone monkeys and a full troop but the highlight was a small family of gibbons swinging through the trees like furry Tarzan’s. Monkeys are very humanlike or are humans very monkey like? The temples (in my opinion) got better and better and cumilated with the last one (also the quietest one) which still had it’s lost in the jungle feel.
The trees were spectacular and I enjoyed watching the bats flying around inside one of the temple chambers. The final ride back to base was through some lovely forest single track and we burned along it snaking through the turns loudly to scare the snakes away. Was a thoroughly enjoyable and engaging way to see the temples.
When we were dropped off at the hotel we had a sleep for an hour before heading into town to do barter battles in the old market but we first stopped at a street stall for some food and a drink (a local curry).
The market was good fun now that I had settled into it. During the first visit the intensity was overwhelming. So many stalls selling pretty much the same stuff it was difficult to see how it all worked economically. The city obviously runs almost entirely on the finances of tourists, and remembering these people are trying to make a living rather than thinking they are trying to rip you off is the best way to look at it.
We bought a few items and then headed for food in a local restraunt, we skipped the frog and snake sections of the menu and went to the vegetarian page at the back. We had a couple of stir fries (broccoli ginger tofu and garlic and tofu and cashew) tempura veg and some spring rolls. I headed to the loo and was greeted by several large cockroaches scuttling over the toilet and walls.
After dinner we headed for a Cambodian foot massage which was the first massage without relaxing music. Rap and dance tunes exploded into the room from the noisy clubs outside. As we left and walked the street Emma was far enough away from me for someone to think I was on my own and offered me a girl who would ‘love me long-time’. It started to rain, heavy, so we jumped into a Tuk Tuk and arrived back at the hotel which was an oasis of greeness and calmness compared to the crazy world outside.
Well, I did wake up in my Cambodian time capsule in the actual future, but just 1 day not 100 years. That was the best way to travel 12 hours, it flew by. And it felt great.
Waking up I did feel like Buck Rogers, stepping off a bus rather than a space ship, out of the chilly air con back into the heat, ready to do the standard Tuk Tuk hustle, the pack were waiting for us next to our bags and Em was straight into negotiating despite only waking up 1 minute ago.
Dawn broke as we climbed out of the tuk tuk at our hotel, The Botanic Garden Hotel…..as the name suggests, full of beautiful tropical plants and it was also the return of the bum gun, I was looking forward to that ultimate jet wash experience. We climbed into bed to get a snooze before heading off to explore Siem Reap. We need to be up at 4 tomorrow for the Ankhor Wat bike tour so we will need an early night tonight. I still can’t believe strangers share a bunk on that night bus! Crazy!
We couldn’t go back to sleep so decided to walk into the centre and see what’s happening. The hotel was situated in the grounds of a temple and as soon as we set foot outside we had Tuk Tuk attention. Nobody seems to walk anywhere here so if you are walking the drivers think you are fair game and so it began. Endless invitations for a Tuk Tuk that we politely turned down.
We were eventually cornered by Mr Choi who seemed a fun (if a little crazy) type of guy who spoke good English and we crumpled and agreed to go on a 2 hr tour of the city with him for $15. He immediately offered us cold beer which we turned down, it was 10 am. He claimed to know where Wales was but called us English for the whole time we were with him. Mr Choi was funny but a bad bad Tuk Tuk driver. We were wincing at crossroads as we cut up the entire motoring population of the city.
Mr Choi stuck to his word and showed us many sights of the city. At one point we had to agree to go into a very expensive shop and pretend to be interested in buying stuff, we were instructed (repeatedly) to say we were English and staying in the Riverside hotel. It was very strange and Mr Choi seemed nervous of the shop keepers. We declined to buy any of the very expensive products. After our tour he dropped us at a local Khmer restraunt which was delicious, we had tofu with pineapple, a local curry and stir fried pak Choi with spring rolls. Very reasonably priced.
After lunch we ducked and dived through the tuk Tuks into the (what I thought) was the safety of the market. Wrong. It was way worse in there, hundreds of stalls all wanting you to come inside and very claustrophobic. I may have lost it a little bit and required some fresh air away from all the ‘please sir’. Emma was enjoying looking at things I was stressing but eventually settled down after an iced dragon fruit shake. Even tried a bit of bartering just to see where the bottom lines were. Em bought a couple of bags. I was confident she overpaid so accepted her challenge to do better. I failed the challenge and congratulated her on her bag bartering success that I secretly chalked down to luck.
We grabbed a Tuk Tuk home (seemed less painful than walking and turning down all the curb crawlers) and once back at the Botanic Hotel we jumped in the pool to cool down before sipping ice cold beer on the roof Terrance overlooking the temple and listening to the geckos. Em found a good place to eat just round corner as the hotel kitchen was shut. It was a lovely little indian cafe with only 3 tables. We had vegtable Thali and veg pakoras all cooked fresh by the owner and his wife. $12 in total, absolute bargain of flavour bombs.
Back at the hotel we made final preparations for the big ankhor wat tour tomorrow starting at 4 am and riding bikes round for what they say could be 7 hrs. Feeling tired after today’s early start and a bit tetchy although better after food and basic needs met. Emma quick to spot the hangryness and implement a recovery strategy as always.
Ps. Emma treated herself to getting laundry done at the hotel which was a big highlight for her so she wanted me to write about it. How do they get it so flat and neat??? (With an iron I guess).
We woke to our last day on lonely beach and a drunk German trying to get into our shack mistakingly thinking it was his. Luckily he realised before he actually got inside. We packed our bags and headed to HQ for coffee and to plan exactly how we will get back to the port and mainland. The boss man genuinely didn’t seem to want us to go and offered us a job in the kitchen. We reluctantly paid the bill $320 for 4 nights and all our food and drink which seemed excellent value…..the Khmer bathroom experience alone was worth 4 8th’s of that.
After a final breakfast we bid everyone goodbye and our pack of dogs escorted us to the edge of the lonely beach territory at which point Em remembered she had left her phone charging at the bar so ended up getting some extra steps into her day. Me and the dogs guarded the bags from pirates and highway men. One of the Cambodian waiters had arranged for his Tuk Tuk friend to pick us up at steep hill 2 passed plank bridge (the point at which Tuk Tuks can go no further) and after a 20 minute walk through sweaty jungle we passed the water buffalo and reached steep hill 2 just beyond plank bridge where our Tuk Tuk was waiting for us.
We bounced for an hour along tracks back into town (truly terrifying). It was weird entering back into civilisation which seemed less civilized than where we had come from and a little dirtier than before. Irrespective of this we rejoined civilized society with a bang and had veggie burger and chips at a beach bar targeting westerners, we stopped short of going into Paddy’s Leprechaun Irish bar for an all-day breakfast and pint of Guinness.
We killed some time waiting for our ferry watching the shoals of fish under the pier (me) and looking at clothes we would never ever wear (Emma). The speedboat ferry was pretty bumpy, occasionally giving butterflies in the stomach. When we arrived at port we elected to walk an hour through the hot city with our bags rather than get a Tuk Tuk. Not the best idea maybe but good to get some movement and get a feel for the place. Turning down tuk tuk drivers became an endurance event that almost broke us but we stayed strong and stayed on our feet.
An hour of walking through a busy city with no western faces was a good experience although we walked through some rough areas and avoided being robbed despite basically carrying a big sign saying ‘im a tourist rob me’. The vibe was generally pretty safe. We walked passed a few schools and the kids had a good stare at us with the brave ones smiling and saying hello.
The heat was intense, the bags were heavy. We seemed to walk through the china town and indian town eventually stopping at a 711 for some sprite refreshment. It wasn’t long to the bus station, after crossing some crazy city roads buzzing with Tuk Tuks mopeds lorries and cars we waited for the bus.
It showed up on time and we climbed into our air condition double (for midgets) bunk drew the curtains and hunkered down for the next 12 hours hoping to wake up at 5 am in Siem Reap for the next stage of the adventure. It’s all fine sharing this small space with your partner but sharing it with a random stranger would not be ok! There’s no way you could occupy this tiny space for 13 hrs without full bodily contact!
This was very much like how I would imagine a trip to the moon would be. Very space age and it wouldn’t surprise me if I woke up in the future like Buck Rogers having spent 100 years in a time capsule locked on a Cambodian bus.
With the breeze it was a lovely cool night’s sleep, still bloody boiling by Welsh standards though. The night time orchestra was joined by the sound of swaying plants scratching the tin roof and wooden walls of our hut. There were also some louder base bump additions that we tried to ignore. One full day left on the island and we are both feeling that the duration of our stay here was timed to perfection and we will leave before things start to go the way they did in the shinning. Island life will soon be replaced by a flurry of activity before we fly back home to a time and weather we seem to have forgotten.
After last night’s wine and cocktails it was definitely a two coffee morning so we headed to HQ and Em mixed it up with a hot coffee followed by an iced. We ate breakfast, omelette for Em (protein required after her Robinson Crusoe beach gym workout yesterday) and Cocco Mango Sticky rice for me (like a sweet rice pudding made with coconut milk and chunks of fresh juicy mango stirred in). We then retired to the hammocks to read and watch the local boys shimmy up giant palms (bare foot, no safety ropes, machete between teeth) to harvest coconuts. They disappeared into the canopy and you would hear a chop chop before a large coconut would fall almost whistling through its descent and thud into the ground as though they were made of lead, causing a vibration you could feel in your feet. You really would not want one of them on your head whilst sunbathing under a palm tree. There’s no internet here but if there was I would now be googling how many people died a year from falling coconut.
It’s was still breezey so we waited for the sea to settle before trying to refind the avatar clam to show Emma. She is not quite as excited as she should be despite two coffees. The nearest shop to us is about a 3 hour walk away. That means we do not have the temptation of junk food. Just the home cooked offerings of the beach bar. Mealtimes with no snacks, which feels good. You are properly ready for your meal having not subdued your hunger with processed crap. I swam (alone) back out to the coral reef to see if I could refind the avatar clam which was easy enough. I also swam a little deeper and discovered a legion of long spined sea urchins, sprinkled along the bottom like an army of underwater pokemon. Their long black spines (20 – 30 cm) protruding from their black spherical bodies. Gently Diving down and avoiding impaling myself I could see neon spots at the base of some of the spines…..again reminiscent of an alien lifeform.
Lying in the hammock it was strange to think it was the 9th December. I’d forgotten about Christmas so decided to plan Christmas dinner which obviously will have to be asian this year! I settled on spring rolls for starters followed by yellow curry, rice and pad Thai with an Asian salad. Dessert would have to be the coco Mango Sticky rice. If only we had a wok burner at home instead of an induction hob that would be perfect although the lack of a wok specific heat source could be used as an excuse if I mess anything up. I finally managed to tear Em away from her book (Jo Nesbo) to come and see the avatar clam and sea urchins. For some reason she was not as impressed as I had hoped. It seems that seeing the mighty great barrier reef in her earlier travels tarnished her ability to see the absolute beauty of a neon blue clam. We headed to HQ for lunch, passion and mango smoothie with mango salad for Em, tofu sandwich for me.
Back to the hammocks after lunch and I sat in the sea for an hour and penned a shoal of tiny baby fish in with my arms and watched them swim around, it’s amazing how they stick together and seem to turn at the same time it’s like they are magnetized together. I went to the bar and aquired us some recently descended coconuts that the Cambodian bar man savagely and accurately attacked with a machete cutting a chunk out of the top of each and then plopping a metal straw in to the surprisingly abundant refreshing juice. Hydration sorted.
Emma broke from her book for a quick beach gym session and we had a final dip in the sea before hastily retreating to the Khmer bathroom to ‘shower’ before the mozzies came out. They arrived slightly early resulting in a wild dance and dive into the parma violet mosquito net where we smidged up (mozzie repellent) and doused our previous nights bites in tiger balm. The burning lotion got transfered to my inner nose whilst absent mindedly scratching with a balm coated finger tip.
One mosquito made it inside our net and we hunted him down like a six legged bin laden, he put up a good fight but eventually met a very unvegan like demise. Just as we celebrated this also in a very unvegan way, a large dropping landed on the outside of the mosquito net directly above our heads. I shone a torch but could not find the depositor…..when I gave up we heard a laughing sound from the rafters, whatever it was it was mocking us. First shitting on us and then laughing when we failed to spot it or do anything about it. I tried to bat it (the dropping) out the window but it just kept bouncing back. Emma said I was just breaking it up and making it smaller and to be fair she had a good view as she was directly beneath it. Apparently unidentified dropping removal is definitely a Mike job and I was not being particularly effective at it. Is there any point in washing my hands in the Khmer bathroom or is everything in there covered in bacteria? I pointed out to Emma that if we didn’t have the net that turd could have landed in her open mouth whilst sleeping. She looked at me with those ‘thank you for that’ eyes. We relaxed in our parma violet prison cell, safe, for now. It didn’t last long, just as we were relaxed a giant beetle flew into the net next to our heads sending both of us scattering out of its way. Em said she needed a drink so we left for HQ.
Dinner was veggie summer rolls and yellow curry, HQ was busy tonight but with a chilled atmosphere. We spent the evening chewing the fat with an Australian traveller before retiring to the parma violet dome for another sweaty evening without Aircon or a fan.
We slept well, the mosquito net did the trick and kept us safe. We slept with the shutters open in an effort to get a cooling breeze which worked just a little bit. The sun shone in through the opening above our pillows and was crossed by the beams of light shining in through the gaps in the wall planks like some weird 3d art piece. I steeled myself for the first traditional Khmer bathroom experience, all went well which I found very surprising!
We grabbed a towel and headed to the beach. The beetles were doing their thing, it sounded like what I imagined tinnitus to be like, such a weird noise. We swam a length of the beach and back then sat in some hammocks strung right on the beach between two coconut palms. Large butterflies flitted past and paranoid crabs darted back into their sandy holes at the slightest sign of movement. We headed to HQ for breakfast and some drinks, detox shake for me iced coffee X2 for Em then found some wooden sun beds on the beach and read our books in the sun. The water was crystal so I stuck my goggles on, swam out to the rocky point which was like swimming through an aquarium. Fish of all shades and all sizes including lots of neon, a lobster, giant clams and sea slugs the size of your forearm, soft to the touch. There were also corals and sponges.
I had seen a supposed trick on the internet to attract turtles (clicking your fingers under water) so did this for a few minutes before remembering it also attracted sharks. I was pretty far out and freaking a bit at this thought….swimming in and stopping every now and then to look behind and under me. I was somewhat relived when I made it back to the shallows. Lunchtime came and Em had a Pina Colada (she’s on holiday) and we both had tofu sandwiches which were lovely. Back at the beach I persuaded em to come snorkelling but there was too much going on for her to be comfortable. Found a massive clam shell vacated (unwillingly I suppose) by it’s resident. It was unusual for a bivalve in that it’s shells did not seem to close tightly which puzzled me. We dozed and read all afternoon. At the end of the day we went to HQ for food (veg noodles for me yellow curry for em) and a few drinks eavsdropping on other travellers conversations.
We arrived back in our hut and scattered the geckos. There were some droppings on the floor, too big for rat so who knows what was roaming about inside our shack. We headed into the sea at 9pm as the cloud covered the crescent moon and spent 15 minutes swimming around in bioluminescence and playing like festive otters which was awesome, the little glowing plankton shining like fairy lights wrapped around our arms. Nobody else around, paradise to ourselves. And for those 15 minutes nothing else existed.
I was in Emma’s dad’s shed trying (unsuccessfully) to identify some animal droppings, feeling perplexed. It was dark but there were lazers of light shining in through the gaps in the planked walls. I did not know what the droppings were and was frustrated and disappointed in myself. I stepped out into the sun and joy had brought a plate of melon with light purple flesh that tasted of parma violet. Cold sweet and delicious. I closed my eyes and when I opened them realised I had been dreaming. I was now staring up at a parma violet coloured mosquito net that was draped over our bed and had successfully saved us from insect attack for the second night in a row. Lasers of light sliced across our bodies shining in from the gaps in the plank walls, adjacent to the bed was an unidentified animal dropping. A mild annoyance at not knowing who it belonged to washed back over me. I bent my neck and looked out through the open shutter above the bed and saw the palms swaying above the beach. I let the dropping frustration go. I tuned into the sounds, waves gently lapping the shore and the strange and unfamiliar bird and insect noises. After spending 50 years in the UK this was like waking to the sounds of an alien planet, which I guess in some ways it was. Lonely beach is a marmite place, I think you would love it or hate it. I like marmite. I like lonely beach. We took it in turns negotiating the Khmer bathroom mobility assault course and then swam a length of the bay, there was a bit of wind and chop so it was bouncy like home but crystal clear and luke warm bath temperature.
Island life is pretty easy. Chill in a hammock, eat, get eaten (mozzies), swim with the fishes, drink, doze, sleep repeat. Today’s swim in the aquarium uncovered 2 new things. An alive version of the previous clam shell I found, bright neon blue clam flesh radiating from the wave like opening between the two shells, like something out of avatar. I stared at it in wonder for at least 10 minutes. It seemed so unlike other bivalves (shell fish living inside 2 shells linked together by ligament and muscle) the flesh was so big it was unable to fully close the shells as a protective measure and this answered the question that had puzzled me when I found the empty shell yesterday……that when pressed together the two shells did not seal perfectly as you would usually expect. I also found some whelk like shells that when you picked them up had a ‘stopper’ that resembled an eyeball, mother of pearl with blue green it looked like some kind of horror gobstopper.
We had lunch, tofu and island salad sandwiches (lovely home made flat breads) and then repeated the above island rota. At this point we noted a giant orb spider had spun a web across the path to the beach bar. Not far off hand size and chilling at face level we made note of its location as neither of us wanted that on our faces. Evening came and we chilled on the verandah and watched the sunset thought the palms and chatted about this and that. After a Khmer shower we walked to the beach bar in the dark, phone torch on, looking for the face clinger, there he was same spot and we leaned and ducked past him. That is not something I would have thought I was capable of, old me would’ve had to find an alternative path! Dinner arrived and the owner and chef tested a new dish on us they were thinking of putting on the menu. A fusion type of lentil dhal, it was very tasty indeed and was a nice change to the stir fry style curries.
Emma finally got to taste the Caiprinha as the missing ingredient that had prevented such an occurrence since our arrival had just arrived by boat. She enjoyed that. We chatted with the owner who was a very interesting man indeed. He seemed to be fluent in every language, had built the entire place and lived here for 16 years and had been everything from a martial arts specialist and teacher to a professional diver. The type of person who could enthrall you with his life story every night for eternity.
Eventually we headed back to our hut, the spider had gone, whether he left of his own Accord or on someone’s face we will never know. There was a cooling breeze that slid through the open shutters and swayed the parma violet mosquito net like a visual lullaby as we drifted off into dreamworld.
The chanting that started at 4am continued for 4 hours. We couldn’t get back to sleep and headed for meditation at 5:45. Emma managed to get back to sleep (during the 1 hour meditation) but the discomfort in my curled knees kept me awake, which from meditation point of view was good, as the idea is mediation is focussed attention not ‘relaxation’ as many people believe. Discomfort is an excellent object to focus your attention on.
Bags packed we ate dragon fruit and papaya for breakfast, Em had her nescafe and we said goodbye to the rest of the group and our hosts as Mr Tom and his Tuk Tuk picked us up at 8:30. The ride took us from the quiet rural world back into the jaws of the city beast. Absolute carnage on the roads I can’t believe we didn’t see one accident. Crazy scenes with millions of mopeds it was like being in a chase scene out of a Hollywood blockbuster.
Mr Tom dropped us at the bus depot which was very organised, I suppose they have to be in a city like this. Em was happy that she could aquire a proper coffee, Coconut cafe now being her favourite (iced coffee with coconut cream and water). Our minibus arrived on time and left on time, our seats were at the front with the driver (seats 1 and 2) giving us good views, big legroom and the first wafts of the air con, good choice Em!. We had a 3 hour journey with the first hour taken up by getting out of the city, crazy traffic but minibus dominates moped and tuk tuk so we just set a straight line and let everyone else get out of our way. Today is a bit of a transport pick and mix including a ferry, the last of which sails at 3 pm. It was now 1330 and we did not have much time by way of contingency…..everything had to go smoothly to make the ferry and so far it had, this however did not settle my anxiety but I was holding on to hope.
As we pulled into the new city we saw an opportunity to get off early (at a point closer to the port than the bus station) so we took it, jumped out, grabbed our bags and waved goodbye to the cheery bus driver (everyone is cheery here, life would be happier for everyone if it was the same back home). We flagged down a Tuk Tuk whose driver couldn’t understand a word we said, Em shower him the map on her phone, he types the price onto his phone (10,000 riel 4000 is one dollar, they operate a duel currency here of dollar and riel, you can pay in either but you only get riel in return, which you cannot exchange outside of Cambodia). We jumped in and were dropped off at the port. Em had scoped which ferry office to use, we found the one, stepped in, paid 50 dollar (return) and were told to go to pier 3 quickly where there was a boat just about to leave. We jogged and jumped onboard and moments later were flying out of the port on a speedboat with 70 passengers bound for various islands ours being Koh Rong.
We arrived at a small wooden pontoon and jumped off with a few other passengers, made friends with someone who appeared to be the boss man of the island and could arrange anything for us, we said we would come back to him and walked along the beach to find lunch. White sand, coconut palms and crystal waters fronted by bars and restaurants. We ordered a fresh cocunut to slake our thirst which was delicious and took advantage of veggie burger and fries (home cut chips!). After lunch we popped in to a stall to get some wine and some tiger balm for my mozzie bites (as recommended by Jake) then went to visit boss man to negotiate a Tuk Tuk to lonely beach which was the other side of the island. We were presented with 2 weathered plastic chairs to sit on whilst we waited for the tuk tuk. We were soon bouncing down a track cratered with ridiculous pot holes with our driver and his young son, sat on his lap. We drove through sand pits and up and down steep muddy tracks, at one point I thought we were going to tip over, super sketchy. The ride was about an hour long and a real life wacky races. Eventually we came to a drop that the driver stopped at, precariously balanced at the top he was obviously concerned we might not make it, we were concerned we would die. He was still contemplating it when we jumped out quickly before he decided to give it a go and said we would walk the rest. We paid him the 20 bucks for the boss man, a tip for him and some notes for his son who bowed gratefully.
We started walking and descending, that slope was precarious enough on foot, several flip flops laid half buried in the mud like spongy tombstones. We turned a corner onto a plank bridge, congratulating each other on bailing the tuk tuk at the right time and walked up the dirt track passed water buffalo on into the forest. At this point a very loud mechanical noise like the buzzing of a large electrical substation started erupting from the trees. It reminded me of the TV show ‘Lost’ with an alien noise in a jungle environment. It was so loud and unusual it was freaking me out but Em said she could hardly hear it. We later learnt it is made by a beetle pushing air through holes in its cephalon. Its volume put cicadas to shame.
We carried on lugging our rucksacks along the forest track in the heat with sweat running down our heads, dripping off our noses. I spotted a large white mushroom in the jungle but was forbidden to go and meet it by Em, who was concerned about what else I might meet. Eventually we broke out of the undergrowth onto a long white beach bordered by palm trees and hammocks, white sand and crystal waters.
We followed the signs to reception which was a Robinson Crusoe style beach bar constructed out of palms and driftwood and held together by natural rope and some structural hammocks. It was ace, off grid, solar power no wifi. The owner, a real life Robinson Crusoe greeted us and booked us in and showed us the various systems for how life worked at lonely beach. He then took us to our hut which was all wood, on stilts with a perfect rustic vibe. Night was falling and the mozzies were starting to be pests as he showed us the traditional Khmer bathroom fitted with an untraditional western toilet throne. There was a large tank of water and a metal bowl, the shower worked by filling the bowl with water and pouring it over your head, the ‘toilet paper’ worked by filling the bowl with water and washing your bits, the flush worked by filling the bowl with water and pouring it into the toilet, the wash hand basin worked by filling the bowl with water and pouring it into a cocunut shell with a small hole in the bottom allowing a little stream of water out to wash your hands in. The hut had wooden shutters that could be opened including at the head of the bed which opened right up giving views of the very near beach. Outside there was a verandah with a bench and a hammock.
The sun was setting over a nearby headland so we got changed and skipped into the Luke warm sea, to wash the travel sweat and grime away. We had made it to our desert island and we’re now marooned for 4 days.
Retreat life can sometimes seem like groundhog day especially the moment when your alarm goes off at 5:45. But it feels good to be in a routine and in a safe and relaxing environment, especially food wise. Everything is good and everything is vegan. No stressing about what I’m eating. 1 hour meditation began at 6 and lasted an eternity. It took nearly as long to get my knees moving again after being locked in a kneeling position for so long. Legs were proper dead. Standard beautiful breakfast of fruit and homemade peanut butter before a vigorous 90 minute hatha yoga session.
We sat under the giant tree watching huge bird sized butterflies flit and flutter about, never settling for a picture to be taken. Lunch was outstanding with aubergine fritters, ginger curry rice and salad. Emma was twitchy as the instant coffee was not hitting the spot so we headed into the village to find something stronger. There were kids everywhere today and they had upgraded their reactions to us from smiling and saying allo to full hugs, high fives and blowing kisses. It was kind of like being famous, walking down the street everyone wanted our attention and seeing the kids laugh and smile made our day. When we got to the coffee shop it was bad news, no power. So we walked further in the draining heat to another place that turned out to be closed. Not a good day coffee wise but Em pulled through. When we got back we had a dip in the pool and we’re joined by the dog which was fun. Cambodian police then arrived to check the passports of two guests as they said their visa photos weren’t clear. We all expected trouble but trouble didn’t arrive.
Next we had a 1 hour aerial yoga session and learnt to hang upside down in monkey pose which was really good fun. Another 1 hour hatha session as the sunset. And now the mozzies made an all you can eat buffet out of my legs. Dinner served was vietnamese pancakes with Pho which was lovely and filling. As we ate a gecko sat in the table light grabbing any flies that came near attracted by the glow of the bulb. All of a sudden the french girl exploded into the air screaming and freaking. A praying mantis had flown into her hair but then flew off before I could get a photo (of the mantis). The owner came running out and said he thought it was ANOTHER snake as a large one had fallen out of the tree onto the very table we sat at only last week, traumatizing the guests.
My mozzie bites kept me up most of the night itching like crazy, immediate relief arrived when I scratched them but then disappeared when I stopped scratching. I was lucky to have any skin left by morning. Which arrived early, 4am as the monks at the temple started chanting through a loudspeaker that sounded like it was in our room. Emma kept telling me to turn my alarm off and refused to believe it was real chanting not a phone alarm!
